With these people, in fact, EVERYONE in their life should be doing EVERYTHING THEIR way. When you confront them with the fact that they have no right to tell you what to do or how to do it and that you are a grown up making your own choices ... they continue to state that YOU are not behaving correctly and that it is, for some reason, their duty to let you know it and continue to try and convince you to change and do it THEIR way.
They can't see that they should just let go of how THEY think something should be done. When you ask them to do something for you that they don't approve of for some reason, they just ignore your request and do it the RIGHT way ... AKA THEIR way. Quickly, you learn not to share ideas with this type of person because it will simply be snickered out in private and ignored in public. It does no good to make a suggestion because it WILL be ignored ... even if you make the suggestion out of a sincere wish or need.
They are great at putting on a show to people ... acting like they like someone or approve of what someone is doing. But, in private, they are critical and "holier than thou."
UGGHHH! I want to forget about this person but an email has triggered me to think about them today. Anyone else know someone like this? I don't have to see this person too often since I made the decision to move on and not be involved in the same areas of our church ... yes, this person is at my church! But, thinking and rehashing about the way control freaks treat people has left me feeling blue.
How does a Christian deal with someone like this? Is avoidance and a "nice smile" when I see them the right way of dealing with them? Should I have just grinned and put up with the controlling behaviors so that I wouldn't have caused waves? What might this person do (in small but mean ways) in the future to get back at me for calling her hand?
Okay, I vented a little and feel better ... thanks for "listening." :)
2 comments:
ok. so read rob's blog from earlier this week....kill them with kindness. he can do it...me, well, i struggle. you know that!
I am reading Joel Osteen's book called Become A Better You and he addresses your problem and other simlar situations in unit 4. If you can get a copy of it I think you will enjoy reading through it. His first book Your Best Life Now is also a good one. You are not alone! :-) Sherri
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